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Are You A Good Parent? Find Out by Medimanage.com
The moment your baby is born, you define a role for yourself, that of being a good parent. And one thing that you pledge against is to avoid the mistakes your parents made as “parents”.
You would never enforce a career of your choice over your child, you would never nag him to score more in his school, you would always be supportive of his decisions and moreover, you would make a wonderful parent of the apple of your eye!
Cut to now: You can’t stop yourself from comparing him with the neighbour’s boy who again scored a 95% leaving your son at the second position. You have to ensure he goes for all four classes everyday, including drawing, painting, karate and tuitions and dare he miss even one, he would have it from you. You want him to be as perfect as you, no matter what!
So, what happened to all those promises you made to yourself when your child was born? Are you still a good parent? Well, read on to find out….
- Say “no”
He wants to have that Ice cream and have it right now. No, how much you try convincing, he would not give in and finally you go out of your way to get him that small cup of strawberry ice cream. And if you think this is a mark of your love for you boy, think again. The moment he knows that his tears make you go weak, he would use it as his weapon to make sure his demands are met. So, it becomes important not to give in to a child’s every demand. Stand your ground and learn when to say “no.”
- Don’t humiliate publicly
A toddler who spills a drink and starts crying already feels bad enough. Resist the initial reaction to yell or scream. Your daughter’s marks are far worse than her class mate’s, so what? If that is a reason enough for you to shout at her when among family and friends, it would take her self esteem right to the bottom and she would start avoiding you. Show that you recognize and understand your child’s feelings and make a conscious effort not to constantly focus on bad behavior.
- Be their cheerleader and shower unconditional love
You make it a point to say I love you, each night to your partner, but ever thought how important are these words for your kids too? Look for small, small things they have done that have had positive impacts and recognize them. Tell them how much you love their habits and hobbies and that they are they are your priorities over all else. When you give your child importance, they would feel they can accomplish everything!
- Mark time with them as your first priority
You got to choose between your kitty party and a game of carom with your son. You got to choose between entertaining guests and patching up with your little son who is angrily sitting inside the closed room.
What you choose depends on which one is your priority. But let your child know that he/she comes before anything else or anyone else, for that matter, and when you show that kind of importance, you are sure to get the same importance in return.
- Set rules and command obedience
At one instance you scold him for spilling the milk, and the very next moment you are patching up. This is only going to confuse him and make it even harder for you as a parent to enforce rules and make him abide them. Set limits and rules and always enforce them, so that your kids know that there are some things that are just not acceptable, and there will be no leniency in that regard.
- Assign responsibilities
“Charity begins at home”, remember this famous quote? Your child’s sense of responsibility begins at home. The more you show him that he is important and is capable of carrying out necessary tasks, the more confident he would be and the happier he would be thinking that he is old enough to be assigned responsibilities and he makes a difference at home. Start with simple things like running errands, making their own beds, dusting the house, watering plants, etc. Children also need to understand that they are responsible for their own actions and the consequences that follow.
- Fix ”days”
Sundays are movie days when the family would go out to the nearby theatre, Thursday dinners are at restaurants, every fourth Saturday, there is a family get-together et al. These rituals create a bond between family members.
It may be as simple as reading a book together every night or taking a yearly trip to the beach. Rituals provide the social glue that bond one generation to another, creating many special memories within a family.
- Don’t Micromanage
You don’t have to tell him how to open the wrapper of a chocolate, or how to dry himself with the towel. These simple things kids learn as they grow up. And moreover, he would feel you are only looking for excuses to pinpoint his faults and instead of rectifying them he would ignore. This is the last thing you would want right? So don’t micromanage, and if the matters are important where you have to pinpoint, then do it gently, after a gap of time when the incident happened and in private. To read more about Are you a good parent? Find out…
About the Author
Medimanage Health Insurance India
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